I started this post yesterday but apparently it did not save! Oopsies.
I am, well was (yesterday) a week away from running my first 26.2. I am not going to lie, I am nervous as hell. There are times of my normal calmness about big events and then there are (more frequently) spurts of nerves and the butterflies literally make me sick. I just can't believe I am here. I used to not even be able to run a mile without huffing and puffing, stopping to walk let alone run a sub-7 minute mile. I never thought I would be a runner, a marathoner, an endurance athlete but here I am. And with my mantra which is to inspire at least one person a day to run, which is happening quite frequently already I found out. My passion is clear and running has changed my life forever, I no longer look at things as difficult or a challenge, and when something is a challenge I accept it and I strive to accomplish it and win. My goals are scarier, more radical and exciting. I am fully present
all most of the time and I cry when I read Runner's World (please tell me you do to?!?) But honestly, don't ever think you can't do it, whatever IT is and whatever your goals are. Do not think you can't go from running a 16 minute mile to a 6 minute mile, because you can. If I can, you definitely can.
As the minutes go by and the 12th is getting closer I can't say I am not shaking from my nerves. My goal is to qualify for Boston (what runners isnt) but my ultimate goal is to finish. It has been brought to my attention that, that goal is a pretty audacious one and I think it is feasible but if I can finish in 4:00:00 I can't say I wouldn't be happy. I would rather finish at that pace than collapse at mile 17 from running a BQ pace. And now that I am officially in taper time I just want to run FOREVER, it is so hard to sit still! All this energy I need to get out, which I know I can't (with a projected 7 miles total to run before the big day, that's it!) I am learning, this whole life is a learning process but running has given me so much advice, life lessons, it has taught me to approach and look at life completely differently than I ever had before. To become a runner, which I always wanted to be but never thought I could be, it does mean a lot. I need to take this time to rest, recover and get excited to finish! (qualify :p) but really, this was and is my goal and it is going to happen.
end note: I am aware I have not made a post acknowledging the Boston bombings and it is for a number of reasons, number one being I was there. I am still processing, and mapping my way through these scattered feelings. I will write about it, I am just not ready to put my feelings effectively into writing.